This is just... ME!

The way a person thinks is what makes said person who they are. Those thoughts are what make a person act the way they do. Not everyone thinks the same way and sometimes a person will come across another person who has a new way of thinking that they haven’t come across before. When this happens the first person has two options; to either try and understand the other person or think the way they think is the only right way to think. It’s up to them and either option can cause problems.

I’ve been told I have a very… weird way of thinking.

You: “You’re telling me! I read your post about Classifying! See It’s right here!  à  Click!

That was kinda wired...”

Me: “Yes. And it gets even deeper and possibly more buzzard.”

You: “How so?”

Me: “Humm… Well I shall tell you!”

I am now going to explain a bit about how I think and view the world!

So how to start. I guess I shall start by saying the one thing that comes up the most.

The word “Should.”

I say this word a lot and have tried not but it just happens. When I say “hey, we Should do bleh…” or “You Should bleh…” It’s me making a suggestion. I couldn’t care less if the thing happens or not and it’s just an option. This has gotten me in trouble a lot and I’ve been trying so hard not to say it but I have all my life and it’s something that just can’t change overnight. Sorry if this bugs you, this is just me. I will try working on it. If I say “Should” and you say “nah, I don’t think so” I’ll be ok and just say “Ok, what other options are there?” or something like that. I should move on.

You: “Ah… let’s not.”

Me: “Ok. I can write about something else.”

You: “NO! I was joking! I want to hear more! DUH! This is why I’m reading this!”

Me: “You sure?”

You: “Absolutely! I was only kidding!”

Me: *chuckle* “Ok. I shall move continue.”

Anyways. So next piece of business. I’m going to share a bit about how I view the world and people. I truly think people are pure hearted and have pure intentions. I believe people want to make other people happy and  avoid any sort of conflict. Ok, I know and understand that’s not the way the world works. But no matter how much I understand that and know that’s not how the people really think, I just can’t stop what I believe. I believe there is good in every living thing. Ok, not every living thing. I think there is a few really bad people in the world who are truly evil. I think they corrupt others and that’s why other’s do really bad things. I think the reason they do that is because they believe in what they were doing! I think people don’t mean to hurt others. They just do things because maybe they’re having a bad day, week, year, etc. Maybe it’s how they think. It’s probably just how they act and don’t mean to offend other’s or hurt them. I’m hard to offend because I always think that person didn’t mean to be rude.

You: “Ah… how has this worked out for you???”

Me: “Sadly… horribly.”

Yes this hasn’t worked out for me well and usually it ends up with people manipulating me, taking advantage etc. I’m used to it. It sucks but I can’t think any other way. I think it’s because I try to make everyone happy and hate to hurt others and make them unhappy because of my actions/doings. I don’t mean to do anything wrong/bad and when I did and it really was my fault I’ll do anything to make it better. I like peace. I do things to make people happy and that’s my purpose in life. I don’t care, it’s just challenges I have to work through.

The only time people can really hurt me or make me mad is when they do something that upsets me that was intentional. This has happened about 3 times. Usually when people upset me I figure they didn’t mean to and even though it may annoy me or hurt me I forgive them. Sometimes I feel the need to talk to said person and work things out and it usually turns out well, if they listen and see my side. I do my best to understand other people and accept their side of things even if I don’t understand it. Problems arise when they won’t give me the chance to give my side or even try and accept my side or try to understand it. I feel like I go 80% in friendships sometimes because I don’t think people really try to see my side of things.

I make mistakes. I do. Everyone does. When other people make mistakes I understand but it sometimes feels when I make mistakes that people take it harder than they should. I am an OCD, Organization Freak with a little perfectionism; a LITTLE. That is directed toward actions in school. I’m not perfect and I know I’m not. I do try be the perfect me and do the best I can. But it seems because I hold myself to a high standard that everyone else expect me to be perfect and when I fail at something some people look down on me. This isn’t just in my head. People have told me that when I fail or make a mistake it makes them think different of me. I have messed up a few times and tried to fix it. I was told “you’re the perfect one and you made the mistake. You’re not perfect anymore. You can’t fix it and I don’t see you the same anymore. We can’t be friends anymore.” That’s just what one person said. I’ve heard it all. I know six people who have defriended me because of a mistake the “Perfect One” made.

I think rationally about everything. I try to make sense of everything that happens to me and other people. I understand this isn’t a really… Good thing to do but again, this is how my mind works. I try to rationalize everything I do too. I feel like my mind is a textbook. I love reading and learning. I love figuring things out and observing. This is what I do. Again, you read the Classifying People post (which people have to keep in mind that’s just a brief overview and there’s a LOT more to people than what I described) you probably understand the textbook part of this!

I also believe I may have higher morals/values than some people. It bugs me SO much when I’m at a Concert, a Movie, a Performance etc. and people are being so disrespectful. I go to things because I WANT to, not because I have to. If I didn’t want to go to something I wouldn’t. I don’t go to play games on my ZUNE, or listen to music on my ZUNE, or text, or sleep, or talk to people, or put my feet over chairs, or mess with friends or just be rude. I go to watch, listen, observe, support, and enjoy. When I’m performing I want people to watch me, support me and appreciate my hard work that I did so people could enjoy what I’m doing. I’ve been on stage MANY times wither it be a Band performance, a play, a dance competition etc. and I HATE it when I look out to the audience and people are being disrespectful. Why are you there?! Did someone make you go? Are you there to support someone on stage? Do you like what you are going to? There’s many reasons why a person goes to things. I don’t think it’s anything from the list of disrespectful things. If it was then leave. I’d rather someone walk out and leave during my performance instead of staying and acting bored and not caring about what’s happening on stage. Because of this I actually watch what’s going on on stage. I sit up straight legs crossed, listen, watch, enjoy and smile. I’m there to enjoy, not sleep. I don’t like hearing a conversation that’s not in the movie or performance. Watching a movie at home is different but if I pay $8.50 for something or any kind of money for something I want to get everything out of it I can.

Ok, so another kind of moral/value I have has to do with people in a relationship. If I’m in a group of friends I want to be with all of them. I don’t appreciate watching someone make out and only pay attention to each other. If you want to do that or be alone, you can leave! I would love if you stayed and hung out but I DON’T want to try and talk to you or include you and you ignore it and then come to me asking why I didn’t talk to you that much that day caus I did, you just didn’t want it then. You can’t have me and them at the same time unless you allow it.

You: “Didn’t you have a post about this?”

Me: “Yup. Twas my first one. Want to read it again? Here it is!” à  :P

Again. This is my opinion. If I offend anyone I’m sorry. This is me. IDK how you see it and you should explain it to me caus I’d Love to know! :D

There is a lot of other things I could say about how my mind works or what I think but I don’t want the world knowing everything. ;D Thanks for reading and hopefully you all understand that you need to get out of your own state of mind and get to know others and see their side as well. If everyone tried a little harder to understand others I really do think a big picture will form and possibly people can become wiser and maybe people’s lives will be less conflicted. I live to try and understand other people. Maybe that’s my textbook mind or whatever, but I’m not going to change any time soon.